Hospital / Sickness

Silent Screams

You can skip this post now if you don’t want to listen to vague emotional rambling. I promise to return you to my regular posting and our continuing adventures from Tahoe in the next post …

And so once again my life (and this blog) has been interrupted by an unplanned rush visit to the bottom of the planet. I apologise for the silence, but it has not been a holiday.

Isn’t it funny how we get brief periods of the good life only to have them obliterated by unexpected chaos around us. Of course, these past few months for me have been akin to hell and there is no current end in sight.

My last month has been one filled with the ongoing saga of sick parents – three of the last four weeks were spent either in the Accident and Emergency (ER) or special wards within Auckland Hospital. When I was not at the hospital I was trying to deal with the other emotionally distraught parent at home to all hours of the morning.

The additional challenge I struggled with was the distance. Have you ever been away from your kids on the other side of the world for a substantial period of time? A month away from my children was sheer torture. Skype, Whatsapp and various other chat media were religiously used but it just isn’t the same as the tactile ability to simply cuddle your babies. I spent many a lonely night on the verge of tears to find sleep – not to mention missing my wonderful husband as well. I don’t know how people cope being away from their families over longer periods due to work … I am sure I would go mad.

I suppose some of you may be asking “why did you go?” …

Well, what is a child to do when their parents are so scared (and one so sick you don’t know if they will be able to leave the hospital) they both cry out for help. Honestly, looking back, they needed me there and so it was the right choice to make. If the schools would have let me take the children with me I would have. At the end of the day though as much as it hurts to admit – they were better off staying in Hong Kong. It allowed me to focus all my attentions on my parents without having to worry about my children’s care or how bored they would be sitting around a hospital bed; not to mention that some sections of the hospital are off limits to children in the first place.

Facing the prospect of loosing a parent is surreal. This is something I never anticipated going through so “early” in life. I suppose I had the rose-coloured glasses on expecting my folks would have a dream run in their later years of life. Unfortunately that isn’t going to be the case. In fact, the worst may be yet to come with looming risky surgery …

We can’t fuss over the unknown of the future or dwell on the dramas of the past … one day at a time, living for TODAY is all we can do.






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